When I first returned to my natural texture, I got told this many times, “now that you are natural you’ll be limited in the hairstyles that you can do.” It seemed as if having the choice of hundreds of styles is what made any hair well, worthy. My answer was always so do you. And then I’ll ask, so how many different styles have you done in the last say3 months...6 months.... 1 year?... The answer was always, “ok I see your point.” 


The truth is that any hair texture is limited in the number of styles that they can rock. If my hair is not loc’d I cannot achieve the variety of looks a loc’d style can. If my hair were straightened, I cannot achieve the styles hair with Afro texture can achieve. Straight hair has its limits, Afro hair has its limits, indeed the degree of straightness or curliness determines the degree of limitation. 

However white little girls don’t seem to care that they cannot have lovely afro puffs, that their hair cannot stay in braids long enough, that cornrows don’t look as neat, that beads tend to keep falling out, that their hair (depending on the length) can get in the way, getting in their face, eyes and mouths sometimes, that water changes the look making it limb and sticking to the scalp. I don’t see white women worrying that they can’t rock a locs updo, an Afro or just having hair that doesn’t bow so visibly to the dictates of the weather, or have a hairstyle that you can go swimming with and it practically remains the same!

Recently a white mother asked me what swimming cap I used for my daughter because she thought her hair was dry after an hour swimming session. No her hair is not dry I explained, it just does not change that much when wet. There are so many things you can’t do with straight hair, but do the straight hair owners care? I-don’t-think-sooooo (sorry if you never listened to Gina Yashare back in the day).

So why then do we, who have Afro texture care that our hair can’t do a million and ten things? Why do we care that our hair doesn’t grow flat on our heads; that it doesn’t grow to our bums; that it doesn’t blow in the wind (how we even think that is a good thing shows the power of persuasion), that it doesn’t comb easily without water? Oh and by the way, straight hair tangles and brushing can be painful if not done carefully or if the ends have not been trimmed for a while.

When you are satisfied and appreciate what you have, you won’t bother with what others have got. Unfortunately , Afro hair has been so stigmatized for centuries as undesirable that we the ‘Afrotians’ have become so dissatisfied with it, that we look outward and seek to disguise it. It is no coincidence that majority, and that should read 98% of black teenagers have fake hair or have at least altered their hair (and even though I have not done a headcount it pretty much seems the case). Now look at white teenagers, almost 98% have their own hair. Hmmmm what kind of message do you think it sends out to the girls, both black and white? Is it a good message, a healthy message? Do you think black teenage girls will feel at par to the white girl in the beauty stakes? Does that matter?

That’s teenagers – what about the pre-teens, and younger children? More and more I see little girls in extension braids continuously, and hair extensions. I have noticed children in push chairs with weaves, yes weaves!! How many white children have you seen in hair extensions, going to school ladened with someone else’s hair or rather something else as hair?  Many of these children have started having the hair problems of older women. Imagine facing a life, from say age 2, where you have to rely on wigs, weaves and extensions for the rest of your life to feel beautiful. What kind of choice is that?

I hope with Project Embrace I can help fellow women and girl ‘Afrotians’ appreciate what we have got, because really and truly it is beautiful. Soft and spongy like my daughter would say and it feels oh so nice. All we need do is look after it, not destroy it, and we will be rewarded with beautiful hair. 

For tips on how to look after your natural afro hair, how to encourage your children to embrace their own hair and more please sign up below: 

When you learn about African history, well parts of it, outside of Africa, Nigeria my home country to be more precise, you learn some truths that we have refused to embrace.

I learnt about the true impact of colonization on our culture and mental wellbeing, on our religious beliefs and social institutions and it was not good. I learnt that Africa and anything associated with her was generally relegated to the unworthy or inferior heap – and in the world of beauty nothing was different.

Our features were ridiculed and mocked as ugly and inferior. Test upon test were carried out by Western scientist to prove that we were less intelligent than other races, and that kind of gave weight to promoting the fact that we were less appealing to look at. I felt the stigma and it stung real bad.

African nose, African skin colouring, African hair, all equalled ugly. So when I look at myself in all my African glory I thought, what am I supposed to do? Do I try to lighten my skin, uplift my nose and straighten my hair? I had been advised at various stages of my life starting from when I was a child to do all three. 

But for me the answer was a resounding NO! But I must add only after years of straightening my hair and enduring the pain and sores it gave me. 

By changing the natural texture of my hair, I felt I was agreeing with the thinking that African features are inferior when I straightened my hair. I may not lift my nose or lighten my skin, but I still subscribed to the fact that there was a beauty ideal better than mine.  I felt I was agreeing to all the other negative associations with people of African descent – that we were second class citizens, of inferior intelligence and of inferior beauty. It made me feel so ashamed to endorse this thinking by disguising my texture. Then after a while I felt angry, really angry that I had ever contemplated changing my hair texture to a supposedly more beautiful one. I cut off my processed hair and the sense of pride I felt was great.

However the desire to really do something about it other than cut my processed hair off, came after I had my daughter. The love I felt for this little being was so strong it made me cry. As she lay there in my arms fresh into the world, it dawned on me that as she grows up she is going to be bombarded with messages that tell her she is less than perfect. 

Who dare talk to my beautiful daughter like that?! Who dare tell her she is not acceptable because of the features she was born with? Who dare make her believe she has to change her looks, her hair, to conform and fit in and be acceptable and adored? Unfortunately the society dares, and if I don’t do something about it she too will believe the lie. She too will feel the need to change that which she has been blessed with, she too will see this blessing as a curse, She too will have an unhealthy dependency on texture-altering chemicals.

I couldn't bare to think that she will be a mimicking another’s beauty, be a copy-cat instead of owning her own beauty.

Well I had a choice – complain or do something. Hence Project Embrace was born. No more am I going to play along to this single idea of beauty. Not only is it damaging to our mental well-being but also to our physical health. It is a dangerous message being perpetrated by the media that there is only one way to be beautiful, only one way to have beautiful hair, and our young girls are carrying the brunt of this lie as they damage their follicles to wear “beautiful hair”. Why wear a wig/weave when you have got hair? Was my question to a teenager, she laughed and said “my hair can never look beautiful so I have to help it”.

I refuse to accept that the only way to have beautiful hair is for it to be long and straight. Our universe is diverse and so should the idea of beauty because we are not one homogeneous set of genes, we are a beautiful blend and mixture, coming out in different colours and hair types, not one is superior to the other.