Yes, only you can give yourself the best gift you can ever get. The gift that is more important than anything you can receive. The gift that can get you all other gifts. This is the mother of all gifts.
One of the reasons why we may not have given ourselves this gift is because, we cannot see why. We look at ourselves and do not see enough reason to give it to ourselves. We look at other people though and believe they are deserving of this gift, so when we can, we lavish them with this gift, forgetting to give it to ourselves first and foremost. We think we have to have what A or B has to receive this gift.
Wanting something others have is a behaviour most children display. We the adults despair as a child suddenly wants something because another child has got it, meanwhile the object of interest had been laying around with no interest expressed until one child goes for it, then the war ensues.
Somehow many of us do not manage to shake off this, oh what should I call it… feeling, and we miss out on reasons why we should give ourselves this precious gift.
As we grow up, we are presented with this narrow yardstick of how to be and look, and if we don’t live up to that we feel terrible about ourselves. We may not be able to change who we are, but to an extent we can change how we look. Sometimes the feeling to change how we look is so intense we do dangerous things and endure so much pain to change the ‘offending’ feature. This may be because we do not believe we can be loved for who we are, warts (mostly perceived) and all.
Watching a programme on TV called body shockers few days back reminded me of how far some of us can go. We hope it will give us more confidence, get us noticed more favourably or make us just feel better about ourselves, and maybe just maybe we might be able to get this mother of all gifts.
So have you guessed what this gift is yet? I dropped a hint earlier. If you thought, loving myself completely, you are absolutely right ;-). The best gift you can receive is to love yourself completely, just as you are, and only when you do that that anyone else can love you warts and all. When you do, all other gifts follow.
The How: Steps to Loving yourself totally
Look in the mirror just as you are (no make-up please)and say I am enough. If you have a weave it might be tricky to remove it, so imagine yourself with your own natural hair, no matter how you think it/you may look. Because you are not as bad as you think. Someone out there wishes they had your eyes, or talent, your hair (yes just as it is!). Say it over and over. Try and do it every morning say when you are brushing your teeth.
Decide not to be treated any less than a worthy person deserves. No one can value what you have unless you first do that yourself.
Resolve to stop criticizing yourself, even for your mistakes. The decisions you make, the way you look, your habits, is the best way you can be. Being the best version of you is the best gift you can give anyone. Believe these words I am enough
Reject anything and anyone that does not celebrate who you are. If you feel you need to change your body or hair for anyone or anything, even yourself, then you are not loving yourself enough.
Start treating your body and hair with respect. No dangerous chemicals or unhealthy food. Nurture with nutrients and the right minerals. Treating the outside with pride can lead to treating the inside the same way.
There will be days when you just feel so terrible, about you, about your body, about your hair, just remember what psychologist and best-selling author Ian Wallace said: “Why are you trying to fit in when you are born to stand out.”… and through clenched teeth say I am enough.
When you adopt and live this philosophy, people will respect and love you for you, warts and all.
What would you add to the list, what do you think someone can do to demonstrate they truly love themselves? I would love to hear from you.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
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